Wrapped in truth

"The truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie hurts forever." I read that on a Facebook post a few days ago and it bothered me. I couldn't tell you why at the time, it just did. I kept thinking about it. Not in the - yea, that's true and I want to talk about it - kind of way, but in the - something's just not sitting right with that statement - kind of way. So, like always... I stewed. That's what my grandmother called it. I let that thought simmer in my head until there was not a recognizable item left in the pot! And then, I started over.

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 NIV

That was more like it. Now I was on familiar ground. Maybe I could get somewhere. Maybe.

How did I get from "the truth may hurt for a little while" to John 8:32? I can't really answer that question either. That's just where my brain went. All I know is that I didn't like the feeling in my gut when I read that Facebook quote and I needed a jumping off point. So I jumped.

I'm not sure how anyone else reads it, but I think both of these quotes make the truth sound like a good thing. And sometimes we automatically associate a good thing with the easy thing. So, choosing the truth is the easy choice, right? No one would choose a lie - choose not to be free? But what are we really talking about here? What is the TRUTH?

The dictionary says truth means that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality. So, what is truth? It is fact. It is the reality of our lives. So, the reality of my life will only hurt for a little while? And the reality of my life will set me free? I feel another stew coming on!

There are very few things in life that I KNOW! You know... that I know that I know that I KNOW!

I know...

• How much I love my children and my grandchildren.

• How much the Father loves me.

• How much power we possess within each word we speak.

• How much I never want to lose this longing to be "brave." And...

• How much "the truth" is the hardest choice I've ever made.

Those last two things obviously go together. They are what move me forward. Some of you may be questioning that decision. But the sacrifices I've made, I would do again and again to get where I am today. And the TRUTH is not an easy choice, nor does it set you free... unless you let it.

Recently someone said, "Your trauma made you stronger." WRONG! Jesus made me stronger. Trauma happens to everyone. No one's life is perfect and no one goes through life on this earth without the darkness creeping in - even if you don't talk about it or acknowledge it. Our world is full of hurt and violence. It might not be domestic and sexual violence, but it's there, lurking in the silence.

And plenty of people never find strength in the trauma. In fact, I would venture to say, most people don't. Hurting and suffering people die everyday without ever knowing hope, without others ever knowing the pain they endured. Their trauma is just that... trauma. It is the reality of their lives. It is their truth.

It was my truth also, until I found Jesus. Jesus didn't change my past, He didn't make me forget my trauma. Just the opposite. He pointed at my trauma and said - that doesn't have to be your life. He gave me choices. Choices I didn't know I had. Trauma made me think I wasn't worth loving. Jesus said He would love me unconditionally. Trauma filled me with guilt and shame. Jesus offers limitless grace and mercy. Trauma made me feel like I was never good enough. Jesus said I was worth dying for.

Knowing all that, I still had a choice to make. We all have choices. I chose Jesus. But what if I had never known I had a choice? THAT'S my fear!

I could have kept my story, my trauma, to myself and just lived my life with Jesus in my heart. Lots of people do it. But my trauma wasn't my TRUTH anymore. The truth is the reality of our lives, right? And I came to a point when all I could think about were those that don't know they have a choice. They are still living in a world of guilt and shame, where they think they're not worth loving, and they'll never be good enough.

No, no, no, NO!

People should have a choice. At least the opportunity to make a choice. So, I will step outside of my comfort zone. I will share my truth - the old and the new. It won't be easy and I pray for strength OFTEN, but it has set me free, because I CHOSE to be free. I am free to forgive, free to be happy, and free to love again. The truth will set you free, but it is a choice.

My truth is Jesus. No if's, and's, or but's... just my life seen in His eyes. All my sin, all my brokenness, wrapped in His grace and His mercy. That's my truth.

John 14:6 ESV

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.