Swing with a purpose

When the kids were all teenagers, we had a little pond next to the patio made from an old cast iron tub. We had buried the tub in the ground and covered the edges with large rocks and greenery. It wasn't fancy, but we made it look nice.

As the kids got a little older and we started having graduation receptions in the backyard, I decided we should have something a little more "landscaped" by the patio. I consider myself fairly creative and my youngest daughter seemed interested in helping, so we took on the task of designing a much bigger pond with a waterfall and plants. It was a big project, but I was excited. I could already see the finished project in my head. We knew it wasn't going to be easy. Several challenges lay before us.

First challenge... that old pond had to be removed before we could start on the new one.

After we drained it and dug out some of the dirt around it, we instantly knew we couldn't lift it. A few years earlier, both of us had watched 6 grown men struggle to carry it from the bathroom to the backyard - we knew the two of us weren't going to magically match that. Yes, we had thought of that before that point, but wishful thinking kept our shoves in motion.

"Mom, what if we break it up into pieces?"

"How?"

She went to the shed and came back with a big sledgehammer. Why didn't I think of that? I already knew from the look on her face that I should just step aside. The first hit just bounced off that cast iron. Uh oh... we might be in trouble. The second hit, we heard a crack. Try number three, she swung that thing with everything she in her and when it hit, a visible crack appeared!

I offered to help but she wanted to do it. Swing after swing, she gave it everything she had. As much as I wanted to help, I could see how determined she was. She wasn't going to let that tub win. She was going to prove to the world, to herself, that we didn't need 6 men to help us. We were strong enough to do this on our own.

Piece by piece, we hauled that cast iron tub to the pickup. And then, we filled in the hole where it used to be.

For those of you that follow this blog and have been along for the journey, you know life has been somewhat of a struggle for me lately. Kind of like trying to figure out how to remove a cast iron tub from the dirt by yourself. I didn't share those struggles because I wanted your pity or your sympathy. I shared them because I know, in the end, when I have gone through the struggle and survived and been blessed, Jesus will get the glory.

Each time I have the strength to swing that sledgehammer, it's not my strength, it is His. Each crack I make in this struggle is a blessing. A blessing from above. The prayers and encouragement I have received from so many fills me with hope and determination. Even on the worst of days, I know God has a plan for me, a purpose. And if this season of struggle is part of the plan, I will get through it and be more prepared for whatever lies ahead.

Some people might read that and think maybe the migraines have totally wiped out my brain. But I know what God is capable of. I know what lengths He will go to take what the world has meant for evil and turn it into something good. Only God can take the trauma of domestic and sexual violence and turn it into a ministry! Only God can take the torment of drugs and suicide and turn it into compassion and understanding. Only God can take a mess and turn it into a message.

Are there days I struggle? YES! Are there days I wonder how I'm going to do it? YES! Are there days I need help? YES! But He is really good at reminding me - I've lived through worse. If I can survive that, I can get through this. And He has put some wonderful people in my life - wonderful, praying people. People that don't even know how important their words are to me.

And just like on that warm summer day in the backyard, there will come a moment when the sledgehammer rests in the dirt and the muscles are sweaty and sore, but we will be able to smile because we never gave up and we never gave in. We didn't need the world and all its ways, we needed each other. We needed to know we were in this struggle together, supporting each other, no matter what it took.

Thank you, Jesus.

Psalm 139:13-16

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.