Skimming through the pages

I love greeting cards. I should probably clarify that... I love receiving greeting cards - especially the ones someone takes the time to write a personal note in. It's not that I don't like sending a card, it's just that I can never pick one out. There have been times when I have, quite literally, spent an hour standing in the greeting card section reading through cards! They never say what I want them to say. And on those occasions when I do send one, I always end up writing a small novel on the inside to say what I REALLY wanted it to say. I have even been known to write a letter, stick it inside the card, and then just sign the card. And at that point, I've wasted money on the card!

Even as I read this, I'm thinking - why don't I just buy blank cards so I can write in them? I've considered that. But my handwriting isn't great and on the few attempts I've made, it looks like a kindergartener wrote it! Trust me, recipients appreciate the typed-out letter!

I'm not one of those people that saves every card I get, but I do save the ones that touch my heart. And last week I was searching for something I misplaced and found some of those heart-warming cards I had stashed away. I sat there on the floor reading through them, soaking up the emotions that tugged on my heart. No matter how many times I read them, they still do that to me.

In that same drawer were some of those blank cards that I never sent. Just waiting to be filled with words of kindness so someone else could someday sit on the floor some evening and maybe feel all the emotions I was feeling that evening.

As I was lying in bed later that night, thinking about the cards, I realized our lives are a lot like those cards. Maybe not cards, maybe more like a book.

Yes, I think our lives are like blank pages of a book. And we have to choose every day how to fill it. I get to choose every day how I fill the blank pages of my life. I can go with what the world wants to generically stamp on my page, but that's all it will be. Generic. The same thoughts, the same picture everyone else has. Or I could try to write it myself. It will NOT be pretty! It will be messy and full of mistakes. There will be parts I wish I could cross out and do over, but I can't, because the ink is permanent. The ink in our book of life is permanent. But, I guess, at least there will be something personal on the pages.

Or I could hand the pen to Jesus and let His hands fill the pages of my life. That would be perfect. Everyone would see the perfect version of me.

But as awesome as that sounds, I know in my humanness, that's not possible. So instead, I will aspire for a book written together. Jesus and I. I will choose, every day, to let Jesus guide my hand as I write the words that fill the pages of my life. And on those days when I try to take control of the pen and the lines start to run together, I will let Him guide my hand back to the right path. The days I don't feel like writing and I just want to let the world stamp a picture and a quote on my page, I know He will be there, encouraging me to pick up the pen. On those days, I need Him most. On those days I will rely on Him to hold the pen in one hand and me in the other.

But it will be worth it. All of it will be worth it, because my story is important. Your story is important. The pages of our lives are read every day by the people in our lives - those we love, those that we interact with each and every day. It doesn’t just sit on the shelf collecting dust.

I know a lot of my book is messy, maybe yours is too, but it doesn't have to end that way. I want mine to end in mercy, grace and forgiveness. And love. Even if someone only gets to read one page, one brief moment with me, I hope they close the book feeling love.

Isaiah 49:16

See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands.