Paging Dr. Ficus

Several weeks ago, a dear friend of mine gave me a plant that had been sitting in the corner of her office, seemingly deteriorating from neglect. She gave it to me because she knows I'm a "plant person." My office looks like a jungle. So, I took "Henry," yes, the plant has a name, and he joined my office jungle.

Once I was in possession of Henry, I did all the things I normally do to doctor an ailing newcomer to the group. I repotted him, gave him new dirt, gave him a little food, made sure he had proper support, and immediately set him in front of the big window so he had plenty of sunlight.

Please keep in mind that I have doctored plants back to life that most people throw in the trash. In fact, I have one plant in my office that even I was going to toss in the trash and I guilted myself into trying to save. Now she's one of the biggest plants I have. So, when I walked into my office one morning and saw Henry was starting to lose leaves and looking like death warmed over, I was shocked.

What could be wrong? I did everything by the book. I followed protocol. He was supposed to get better, not worse!

In my panic, I did what any plant mom would do... I Goggled it.

Turns out, I can't treat Henry like any ole plant. Henry has special needs. I can't use "protocol" on Henry and get the same result. I had to do homework and learn about Henry. I have to water him according to how his leaves look and not let him get too much sun. I have to pay attention to Henry. Henry's life depends on it. Right now, I'm just praying I have the skills to keep Henry alive.

What if we treated the people in our lives like that? Like their life depended on how much attention we paid to them? What if the people we love, the people we care about depended on us for their very lives? On how much attention we paid to them for their very existence? What if when we forgot about them, they no longer had the ability to survive? How important is that life to you? Do you put in the time? Do you do the homework? Do you pay attention?

I think about the relationships, the people I've lost, because I didn't pay attention or I thought they weren't paying attention. How different would our families be, our marriages be, if lives were at stake? How petty would we be or NOT be? What would we pay attention to... really pay attention to? What would sink into our hearts as notable and what wouldn't?

All these questions flood my mind as I ponder the very thought of losing someone I love because of my negligence. My first thought is I would set my needs aside to make sure the ones I love got the attention they deserve and need. But as soon as I write those words, I think about Henry.

I have an entire office full of plants. Big, small, old, new, some have names, some don't. Up until now, I've treated them all the same. Or have I? When I really stop and think about it, They all have little differences. Just because I water them all on the same day, doesn't mean they get the same treatment. They don't all get the same amount of water, and some don't get watered every week. Some get plant food once a month and some don't. I've repotted a couple of them and I've pruned a couple of them. They've all been treated with individual care, but it's so much a part of my routine that I didn't even realize how "special" each one is.

Maybe THAT'S how we should approach the relationships we have with loved ones. We need to remember how important they are. And we should know them so well that what we do for them is routine, yet is so essential, it leaves a permanent mark, a scar, if neglected. Our interactions with them should be an intricate part of their lives. How much attention we pay to a relationship, whether it's our kids, our grandkids, our best friend, or our husband, is a reflection of our value on that relationship. And we can nurture it, even bring it back to life, or we can watch it die while we blindly choose to not pay attention.

We need to pay attention to the little things that bring joy to life. The things that make people smile and laugh, maybe even shed a tear or two. There will always be holidays and calendar events, but those usually aren't the things talked about when family tells stories around the firepit or when everyone's telling "secrets" during Christmas dinner.

When you love someone, truly value a relationship, it's worth the homework, it's worth the effort. Because anyone who's capable of love, already knows how wonderful it feels when the people you love are happy. There is no greater joy.

John 15:12 ESV

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.