Mom had great taste in men!

My mom passed away 25 years ago, very unexpectedly. It was a difficult time for me. I was a young mother and she and I had a strained relationship at best. The last time we had seen each other face to face, I had said something I shouldn't have, and so I was left with the guilt of the conversation. I have come to terms about a lot of things concerning my mom since then and she recently had a birthday. So I decided I would celebrate like she would want to celebrate... I binged watched Elvis movies! My mom was madly in love with Elvis and she wasn't shy about it! She loved his music, she loved his movies, and my dad knew that if Elvis ever mysteriously showed up on our doorstep, he was history! The day Elvis died, she stood in our kitchen and cried. I didn't understand it. Back then, I didn't bother taking the time or even want to understand how she was feeling. (Those details are for another day.)

The night of her birthday, I sat on the couch watching Elvis sing and dance and flirt his way into my heart, but more than that, I was wishing Mom was sitting next to me. And for the first time since I was a little girl, I missed her. I felt connected to her on a level I've never felt before. We'd never shared a teen aged, giggly, moment or a girl heart to heart, but that night I felt like we could have. Maybe something like this:

Me: Mom, I have to admit, Elvis is pretty hot. Now I can totally see what you saw in him.

Mom: (I tried to tell you.)

Me: You notice how he's always tan in every movie? And his clothes are always tight? He does that on purpose, you know?

Mom: (Duh...)

God has a way of taking the most mundane moments and turning them into life lessons. Who knew Elvis could erase 40 years of hurt and resentment? ...God. I'm not saying it happened all in one evening, but that night was wonderful! God has been working on my heart in the last few months to know truth - real truth. Not the truth we want to see, but the truth we NEED to see. It has been my prayer, for myself, no one else, just me. And in doing that, one of the things I've discovered is humility. We are so judgmental of others, especially those we love. We hold them to a higher standard. Not because we WANT them to be better, but because we NEED them to be better than the norm. We rely on them. But the truth is, they are human, like everyone else. They have ghosts in their pasts, too. They have worries and frustrations of their own, some you probably don't know about. We can't change the past or change anyone that doesn't want to change, but we can change how we see them, through God's eyes - no judgment...just love.

What I've come to realize about my mom is she was just doing the best she could at the time. It might not have been what I needed from her at the time, but she was dealing with life and HER struggles the best way she knew how. She was going through a season in her life just like I was going through a season in mine - I just didn't see her struggles, I saw mine.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

(New King James Version)

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born, And a time to die;

A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill, And a time to heal;

A time to break down, And a time to build up;

A time to weep, And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain, And a time to lose;

A time to keep, And a time to throw away;

A time to tear, And a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;

A time to love, And a time to hate;

A time of war, And a time of peace.