I had a dream

I was almost asleep when I felt someone or something get on the bed. And before I had time to think or move, the motion in the dark was on top of me. My initial emotion was pure panic and fear, and my second reaction was an eerie calm. Almost instinctual. “I know what’s about to happen to me.” That was my thought as I closed my eyes and waited. Waited for his next move. In some sort of twisted way, I relaxed. I’m not afraid to die. I know where I’m going. And if he’s not going to kill me …then what? What can he possibly do to me that hasn't already been done?

That was my thought as I woke up. A dream. It was just a bad dream. More like a nightmare. Nightmares about sleeping are the worst! It’s so hard to separate the nightmare from reality when you’re lying there in the moment.

I hadn’t had a nightmare for such a long time… it kind of rattled me. Not so much the nightmare itself, but the “why.” Why did I have one?

I kept asking myself that question. I thoughts about it for days. In fact, I said to myself “I had a dream“ so many times, that I jokingly said (to myself) one night “I’m starting to sound like Dr. King.” And to anyone else, that might have been just a passing moment, a fleeting thought, but not me. I instantly knew I had to know exactly what Dr. King said.

Dr. King: "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal………

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

...This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

...This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning: My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrims' pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true."

Dr. King‘s dream was for every man to be treated equal. To be equal. No better, no worse, but equally. For all of God’s children, all of mankind, to be treated fairly.

I've only included a small portion of Dr. King's speech. As I read the whole thing, I couldn't stop the tears from coming. His words touched my heart. They are so genuine, so sincere. He had so much hope and faith in our country and in people. He truly believed we were capable of positive change. He saw the world through God's eyes. And he was not afraid to speak the truth.

How do we see the world? How do I see the world?

It would be really easy to see the world through "victim" lenses. To see only the violence and the hurt that so many are chained to. But if I did that, it would be hard to hear His voice amongst all the heartache. And if I stay within the confines of the church, victims and survivors may assume I believe something that I don't or that I'm not accessible. So, instead, I choose to see the path that leads the broken-hearted to help, the path that leads to Him.

But I know I will only reach a few. And even then, I will need the assistance of others. Others that choose to see the world like I do. Others that know what it feels like to have someone say "It's going to be okay." Others that are willing to call just to see if you're okay. Others that will bring you food when you're in hiding. Others that will pray with you before you go into a courtroom or before you go to bed. Others that will sit with you until you fall asleep. Others that will love you through the worst days of your life.

Do not be afraid. Maybe that's what I should take away from Dr. King's speech. Do not be afraid.

I know in this battle, I am the underdog. I have but one voice in this world full of chaos and darkness. But I need to use it. I need to let others know that my voice exists, so they know they are not alone. If we all stay silent, everyone suffers alone. But together we can make a difference. Together, "we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope."

Isaiah 41:10 ESV

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.