Good boy. Now, let her out of the car.

When we were kids living out on the farm, we had this big black lab named Jake. Jake was as lovable as they come, but he took his position as guard dog of the farm very seriously. He was very protective of all of us, especially Mom. I remember one Saturday, the Avon lady made her regular stop at our farm to see Mom and Jake didn’t particularly care for visitors that day. The Avon lady drove a little Volkswagen beetle. Before she could open the car door, Jake blocked her by putting his front paws on top of the car, blocking her whole car door. She was scared to death to get out of the car. He had her trapped in the car and making a fuss, there was no way she was getting out of that car! If Mom hadn’t gone out to rescue her, she would have just backed out of the driveway and left.

I’m not sure what set Jake off that day, but he was only doing his job… He was protecting us. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all had our own personal guard dogs to protect us from anything that might harm us? Well… we do, kind of.

I guess I can only speak from a woman’s point of view. I’m not sure men have the same instincts. But we call it a woman’s intuition. I’m not sure if it’s women’s intuition or God trying to steer us in the right direction, but I do know that there is something there. And it's kind of built in like a guard dog.

Whatever it is, it's there to protect our personal space... our boundaries. Some of us are better at setting personal boundaries than others. I've had times in my life when I had NO boundaries and I've had times in my life when those boundaries were made of steel. Neither is healthy.

Personal boundaries are just that... personal. Only YOU can decide what's comfortable and right for you. For someone who has been affected by domestic violence and/or sexual violence, personal space is complicated. What others take for granted, you are very much aware of, maybe even looking for. Personal boundaries are necessary. They give us structure and security. Most people think of boundaries as their personal space and what they will or won't allow others to do within that personal space. What I've learned... the hard way, is that personal boundaries should also be thought of as what you will or won't allow YOURSELF to do outside that space.

I think sometimes it's just as difficult to control my own actions as it is someone else's. That guard dog that protects my personal space has one adversary...me. If I'm brave enough to let someone within that personal boundary and my guard dog starts growling and putting up a red flag, I should be aware that something is wrong. But many times, instead of listening, and heeding the warning, I stick the dog outside so I don’t have to listen to it make a fuss. I’ve done it more times than I can count. And almost every time, I have regretted that decision. And what happens is if I ignore those warnings and stick the dog outside often enough, it stops warning me. It gets so used to me ignoring the warning signs that it just stops barking.

Or there's the other end of the spectrum, which usually happens when recovering from the previously mentioned mistake. My guard dog might stand up and check someone out, give him the "sniff test," but I've already written them off, even if Scruffy never made a fuss.

It's impossible to make decisions without basing them on life experiences. We have nothing else to go on. We make mistakes. We learn. We try again. At least that's the idea. But I often wonder if we treat God like we treat that guard dog in our head? If time and time again, we ignore Him long enough, if we stick Him outside so we don't have to hear Him make a fuss, do we just stop hearing Him all together?

Do we get so used to making our own decisions that we forget that He's supposed to be in control? That life works better when He is in control? Have we gotten so arrogant as to think we are better at this than He is? I remember what life was like without Him...

Whenever I start asking myself those questions, I remember the night I knelt next to a raggedy old sofa, tears rolling down my cheeks, asking Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. I knew that night that I wasn't good at being in control of my life and God gently reminds me of that night every time some of those questions sit uneasy on my heart.

Sometimes the chaos and noise of life makes it hard to hear that voice that protects me. Sometimes I don't do a very good job of turning down the volume when I have a choice. But it's nice to know He's always there... in the aftermath of chaos, when the smoke has cleared, or when I need someone to pull me out of the debris.

Jesus is the best personal guard a person can have. He's all powerful, all knowing, and loves unconditionally. Well... Jake was pretty lovable too.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.