Carrot or sugar cube?

When I was a little girl, I wanted a horse more than anything in the world. We lived on a farm, we had a pasture, and all I needed was a horse to ride. I was the only one interested in them. My 3 younger siblings couldn't have cared less if we had horses or not. I begged my parents, until one day, Dad gave in.

I remember Dad and I driving to a big farm and I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. When we arrived, the farmer had 3 or 4 horses separated from the rest of the herd and I got to pick one of them. It took me all of 10 minutes and I knew exactly which one I wanted. He was big and beautiful and we connected right away. I was only 7 or 8 years old and that big ole appaloosa walked right up to me and snuggled his nose in neck... he had me hooked! I was in love! I remember Dad saying, "Are you sure you want one that big?" But the farmer reassured him that he had only pulled out ones that were extra gentle, good for first time riders, and it would be fine. So, the deal was made, and Peanuts was delivered to our farm a few days later.

I was the happiest kid on earth! I could do anything with that horse. When I first started riding him, I was so short and he was so tall, I would have him stand next to the fence so I could climb up the fence to get on him. He was so patient with me. I started out riding him in the pasture, but eventually I could ride him up and down our gravel road. We were best buddies. Dad and I had an agreement that any chores that involved Peanuts were my responsibility and I always kept my end of the deal. The front door of the house faced the pasture and he would get so excited when he saw me coming... I always loved that.

So, now comes the part where I have to tell you about his flaws. Peanuts had a bad attitude when it came to letting other people ride him. We had a large, old 3-sided shelter in the pasture for him and when someone else wanted to ride him, I always just let them ride in the pasture (it was the lesser of two evils). He had this "trick" that he liked to pull - I get embarrassed just thinking about it. He would speed up as he got close to the open side of the shelter and then dart in, and if the rider wasn't expecting it (if I hadn't warned them) they would end up on the ground or have a concussion, because the overhang of the shelter was right about the height of their head. Oh, he was nasty. Like I said, that was the lesser of two evils. I learned real quick not to let him out of pasture with anyone but me, because he would head to the end of the driveway and then go as fast as the wind down into the ditch and then back up to the road. The rider wouldn't be prepared for the quick movement down and back up again and always end up flying off and land in the ditch.

It didn't take long before NO ONE wanted to ride him. One experience was enough. I did have one friend that tried a of couple times, hoping he would soften up and start to like her, but she eventually gave up. He was just so stubborn. I wanted to be so angry with him, but it was hard to stay angry with him. I knew he loved me. He wanted me, and only me.

Now, if anyone but me was telling this story, you would get a much different version. My dad or my siblings or my friends would probably use words like headstrong or cocky, temperamental, sassy, maybe even moody. But they didn't get to see the big picture like I did. They didn't spend everyday with him like I did. They didn't realize that his attitude with them was just another way of showing me that he loved me. He wasn't going to be happy with anyone but me, and he let the whole world know it. That kind of love and devotion is hard to come by and it feels good.

I'm thinking my time with Jesus is similar. Others don't get to see the whole picture, they just get to see bits and pieces. People have been in and out of my life in good times and in bad... probably just depends on who you ask at the time. Some people I may have had an attitude with, I might even admit to being temperamental and headstrong with, and God probably wasn't very pleased with me at the time. But the most important thing is God has always been there, loving me, even when I come back to my senses and realize what an idiot I was. His faithfulness is never ending. I'm never going to be perfect. Just the word PERFECT intimidates me. So, I think I'll strive for honest. Not like 'let's go out and tell everybody's secrets' honest, but honest with myself. The kind of honest that let's me have an open, ongoing conversation with God everyday. A 'best buddies' kind of day... I like that idea.

Lamentations 3:23 (KJV) My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.